al kabair

Disrespect of the Parents – Imam Adh-Dhahabi

Abu Sinan

The Sixth Major Sin
Disrespect of the Parents

Allah, Mighty and Majestic, says,

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.'”
(Surah Al-Isra’, 17:23-24)

And The Most High says,

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents…”
(Surah Al-Ankabut, 29:8)

until the end of the Ayah.

46. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Shall I not inform you about the worst of the Major Sins?…” then he mentioned disrespect of the parents from them. Agreed upon.¹

47. And he ﷺ said, “The pleasure of the Rabb lies in the pleasure of the father, and the anger of Allah lies in the anger of the father.” Sahih.²

48. And it is narrated from him ﷺ, “The father is the middle gate of Paradise, so if you wish then guard it, and if you wish then neglect it.” At-Tirmidhi authenticated it.³

49. And it is narrated that he ﷺ said, “Paradise is under the feet of mothers.”

50. And he ﷺ said to a man that asked him for permission to take part in Jihad with him, “Are your parents alive?” So he replied in the affirmative, so he said, “So strive (Jahid) in their service.”

51. And he said, “Your mother, then your father, then your sister, then your brother, then your closest relatives.”

52. And it is narrated on the authority of the Prophet ﷺ that he said, “The one that disrespects his parents will not enter Paradise, nor the one that reminds people of his favours, nor the one addicted to alcohol, nor the one that believes in magic.”

53. ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with them both) said, “A bedouin came and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! What are the Major Sins?’ So he (the Prophet ﷺ) replied, ‘Associating partners with Allah.’, he said, ‘Then what?’, he replied, ‘Then disrespecting the parents.’, he said, ‘Then what?’, he replied, ‘To take an oath Al-Ghamus.’“⁸

54. And it is narrated that he ﷺ said, “The one that disrespects his parents will not enter Paradise, nor the one that belies Al-Qadr.”

55. And ‘Isa bin Talha bin ‘Ubayd Allah narrated from ‘Amr bin Murrah Al-Juhani (May Allah be pleased with him) that a man said, “O Messenger of Allah! If I pray the Five Prayers, and fast Ramadan, and give the Zakah, and make pilgrimage (Hajj) to Al-Bayt, then what do you think will happen with me?” He said, “Whoever does that will be with the Prophets, the Truthful and the Martyrs, except the one that disrespects his parents.”¹⁰

56. On the authority of Bakkar bin ‘Abdul Aziz bin Abi Bakrah, who said: My father narrated to me, on the authority of of Abi Bakrah in Marfu’ form (i.e., that the Prophet ﷺ said), “Allah will defer [the punishment] for whatever sins He Wills until the Day of Resurrection, except for disrespect of the parents, for verily it is hastened for whoever does it.”¹¹

57. And the Prophet ﷺ said, “A son cannot repay his father [for what he has done for him], except if he finds him as a slave, then buys him and sets him free.” Narrated by Muslim.¹²

58. And on the authority of the Prophet ﷺ, with a Hasan (acceptable) chain of narration, that he said, “Allah cursed the one that disrespects his parents.” 

59. And he ﷺ said, “The maternal auntie has the same status as the mother.” At-Tirmidhi authenticated it.¹³

60. And it is narrated on the authority of Wahb bin Munabbih that he said, “Verily Allah said: O Musa! Honour your parents, for verily whosoever honours his parents, then I will extend his life, and bestow him with a child that will be dutiful to him, and whosoever disrespects his parents, then I will shorten his life and give him a child which disrespects him.”¹⁴

61. And Ka’b said, “By the One in Whose Hand is my soul! Verily Allah will bring about the destruction of a slave when he disrespects his parents, so as to create a punishment for him, and verily Allah will increase the lifespan of a slave when he is dutiful to his parents, so as to increase him in good.”¹⁵

62. And Abu Bakr bin Abi Maryam said, “I read in the Torah: Whoever hits their father is to be killed.”¹⁶

63. And Wahb said, “In the Torah: Whoever strikes their father is to be stoned.”

(Al-Kaba’ir of Imam Adh-Dhahabi, p.130-143,
Maktaba Al-Furqan, 2003CE/1424H, 2nd Edn.)

[TN:] Summarised Notes from the Checking of Shaykh Mashoor bin Hasan Aal Salman

¹ [TN:] i.e., that Imam Al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim agreed upon its authenticity.

² Hasan Li-Ghayrihi. At-Tirmidhi narrated it in Al-Jami’ (#1899), and in Al-‘Ilal Al-Kabir (#340), and Al-Hasan bin Sufyan in Al-‘Arba’un (#34), and in Tarikh Wasit (p. 51), and Ibn Hibban in As-Sahih (#429 – Al-Ihsan), and Al-Baghawi in Sharh As-Sunnah (12/13 #3424) and in Ma’alim At-Tanzil (3/490) from the path of Khalid bin Al-Harith from Shu’bah from Ya’la bin ‘Ata’ from his father from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr.

³ Hasan Isnad. At-Tirmidhi narrated it (#1901), and Ibn Majah (#2098 and #3663) in As-Sunan, and Al-Humaydi (#395) and At-Tayalisi (#981), and from his path Al-Baghawi in Sharh As-Sunnah (#3422) and Ma’alim At-Tanzil (#3/490), and Ahmad in Al-Musnad (5/196, 6/445,451), Ibn Abi Shaybah in Al-Musannaf (8/540), and Hannad in Az-Zuhd (#987), and Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (#425 – Al-Ihsan), and At-Tahawi in Al-Mushkil (3/417 #1385, Ar-Risalah Edn.), and Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadarak (2/197, 4/152), and Al-Baghawi in Sharh As-Sunnah (13/10-11 #3421, 3422), and Al-Bayhaqi in Ash-Shu’b (6/183 #7848, Dar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah Edn.), Al-Khatib in Al-Faqih w’al-Mutafaqqih (2/375 #376 #1128), and Ibn ‘Asakir in Tarikh Dimashq (68/111-112). Note: What is apparent is that the statement, “So if you wish, then guard it…”, is from the speech of Abu Darda’, and Allah knows best.

⁴ Munkar (Rejected). See As-Silsilah Adh-Dha’ifah (#593).

⁵ Sahih. Al-Bukhari narrated it in his Kitab Al-Jihad under the chapter, ‘Chapter: Jihad with the permission of the parents.’ (6/140, #3004), and in Al-Adab (#59), and Al-Muslim in Kitab Al-Birr under the chapter, ‘Chapter: Birr (Being Dutiful) of the Parents’ (4/1975 #2549), from the Hadith of ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr Al-‘As.

⁶ Sahih Isnad. Narrated from the path of Tariq Al-Muharabi, who said, “We arrived in Al-Madinah, then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ stood on the Minbar and addressed the people saying, ‘The giving hand is the upper hand, and begin with those dependent [on you]…” until the end of the Hadith. An-Nasa’i narrated it in Al-Mujtaba (5/61), and Ibn Majah in As-Sunan in a shortened form (#2670), and Ibn Sa’d in Tabaqat Al-Kubra (6/32-33), and Al-Marwazi in Ziyadat Az-Zuhd of Ibn Al-Mubarak (p. 410, 411), Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (5/142-143 #3330), At-Tabarani in Al-Kabir (8/314-315 #8175), Abu Ya’la in Al-Mafarid (#109) and Ad-Daraqutni in As-Sunan (3/44-45). Also see As-Sahihah (#989) and Al-Irwa’ (7/335, 336)

⁷ Da’eef. This wording is found with Qawam As-Sunnah in At-Targhib (#409), and in the chain of narration is ‘Atiyyah Al-‘Awfi who is weak in Hadith.

⁸ Sahih. Al-Bukhari narrated it in his Sahih (#6920). [TN:] An oath Al-Ghamus is a false oath by which someone usurps the property of a Muslim, as mentioned in the remainder of the Hadith.

[TN:] Hasan. Shaykh Al-Albani said its chain of narration is Hasan in Takhrij Kitab As-Sunnah (#323).

¹⁰  Sahih Isnad. Al-Bukhari narrated it in Tarikh Al-Kabir (6/308), and Abu Nu’aym in Ma’rifah As-Sahabah (4/2011 #5055), and Ibn ‘Asakir in Tarikh Dimashq (46/337), and Imam Ahmad in Al-Musnad (5/154), and Tabarani in Musnad Ash-Shamiyin (4/138 #2939).

¹¹ Sahih Isnad. Waki’ narrated it (#243, 429) and Hannad (#1398) and Ibn Al-Mubarak (#15, #724), in Al-Zuhd.

¹² Sahih. Sahih Muslim (#1510) from the Hadith of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him.

¹³ Sahih. It is a portion from a longer Hadith, Al-Bukhari narrated it in his Sahih (#2699, #4251) from the Hadith of Bara’a, may Allah be pleased with him.

¹⁴ Qawam As-Sunnah narrated it in At-Targhib (1/211 #445) with his chain of narration to Wahb bin Munabbih.

¹⁵ Ibn Wahb narrated it in Al-Jami’ (1/156, 157, #95), and Ibn Abi Shaybah in Al-Musannaf (8/537), and Abu Nu’aym in Al-Hilyah (5/389).

¹⁶ Ibn ‘Adiy narrated it in Al-Kamil (2/461).

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